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Amazo n Merx\ch Blows
It's A Nice Day To Start Again |
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Wouldn't you love to go under that upskirt of Ginger Zee's, and see her naked shaved pussy? Of course any man or woman who gives cat haircut, looks for a well groomed pussy. Ginger has a stub on her kitty's ear and lips. Me and the spokeswoman for TopCatNip.com I no longer believe that my Mother loves me, or has any faith, stock, hope, promise, patience, or need for her one and only son. I have often quoted Woody Allen, "Love fades." This is so sadly true pertaining to romantic relationships. It appears that sometimes works in family, paternal relationships. I don't have kids. I shpouldn't be near this topic. But I will project myself into the soul of a parent. Better yet, I will put the shoe on the other foot... If I were my Mom, how would I feel about my son? Would I be disappointed in me? Yes, I would. But I would be more supportive, and less critical. My Mom has been purposely cruel at times. Throwing old, past failures, back into the present. This chilish act, does nothing. Maybe it subconsciously created resentment in my mind? I consciously try not to react to her petty attempts at bringing my feelinngs down. Why would somebody who used to love you more than anything, do this now? Especially when I clearly react better to support. When I get upset with somebody I care for, I walk away. Or maybe slam a car door, or do something innocuos toward that person Her reasoning behind her negative statement, could possibly be the pleasure procures from needling me with examples of my foibles, lies, bad ideas, periods of latency, etc... It appears that the bottom line with her is this:I don't give her enough money. If she could control me, she would.
Admittedly, I have not contributed nearly enough money toward the Florida Power and Light bill. So I have been trying to step things up in other areas to contribute. I held a garage sale with my mother. I sold $50 of my stuff, and gave her $45. I also was partially responsible for the sales of her things, and her friend's bike- due in large part to my Craigslist postings and photos. I made signs and posted them I collected $ from the items I sold of hers, while she went to a few sales. I am trying to help her quit smoking. I spent an hour and change going through the process off applying for state assisted, free nicotine patches. I gave them to her. I figured she would save $125.00 a month-if she quit. She didn't appreciate this small effort on my part. When she feels I haven't given her cash for awhile, or not enough "contribution," she gets me back with some passive aggressive verbal bomb. This is meant to be hurtful. A long time ago, but not that long ago, I had a great Mom who loved me unconditionally. Now, it's all about conditions, blame, and resentment. The love has been replaced with unconditional retribution and disgust. A pile of money would clean the slate, and make everything better on her end. For me, things won't be the same ever. Seeing something that was supposed to be an absolute; fade, and get jaded over money, hurts my heart. You only have a Mother's love unconditionally for a finite period. It isn't forever for me, and it doesn't heal when the slate gets cleaned. Not for me. Unconditional Love Is A Tuxedo Cat
The only true example of this unconditional love that I have in this life is my Tux cat, Cathead Napier. I know, I sound like a teenage girl that just saw "The Notebook." But I am at a crossroads again. Everybody knows how raw emotions can be during a time of change and introspection. Mine are totally exposed near the surface. Something like realizing your own Mom not only no longer unconditionally loves you anymore, but doesn't even care if I know this...Well, that's a pretty grim and stark discovery. One that's deserving of a fifth of Rosewood Bitters. If only I drank! "High School Musical" Meets Deep Throat, Then Blows Him I was fortunate enough to score seats to the preview of this bad intentioned, racy and provocative adaptation of Grease. The plot had nothing to do with the 50's, cars, or the film "Grease." Grease was a constant reference and prop, used by the actors during the show. They wore clothes that may have been from the era coincidentally. This is how these slutty dress normally. I know, because two of the actors are strippers that live in my building. That explains how I got the "comps." When these sweet girls came to my door and asked if I wanted to see their play, I thought it was going to be at Sarasota High. To my knowledge, these teenage chicks are still high schooler's. They told me it was going to be at a "club" and gave me the address. What a shock! I was so appalled at the content and sheer brazenness of the entire production. Young girl's discussing clit rings? Then singing about squirting orgasms. I nearly left in the first minute, but I didn't want to be a rude neighbor. By the time I had my 4th drink, and 10th bong hit at the after party (once again, me being a good neighbor) I forgave my young neighbors for duping me. I mean, how can you stay mad at two kids following their dream. And if that dream happens to involve lube, Black Tower dildos, and lesbian threesomes(all while singing mind you) who am I to get in the way? OLIVIA MUNN NEEDS A NEW TAILOR
She wasn't on Jay Leno literally. That would have been very awkward if she came out, climbed on the desk, then started grinding 'ol Jay. But she did come out in a neon pink dress that a 3 year old would fit in. She immediately said,"I need to be careful because this skirt slides up my crotch and you can see everything." She waited exactly one second, then shifted toward the side camera and uncrossed and recrossed her legs. She had a strobe light and diamonds attached to her vagina so you couldn't miss it. Vince Vaungn stroked out. Jay did his usual repertoire of mugs, feigning shock. I have seen about a billion pics of her nude, and have slept with 2 women who were better looking versions of her. Is she famous for any reason other than crossing the line? It takes 30 seconds to lean to be a cheap stripper. It's like, "Oh look, I show off my tits and pussy and I get more famous." It is cool that you can be a MAXIM girl, and get on a NBC series though. The Hollywood dream lives on! Thanks to Olivia Munn showing her beaver on television tonight, many teenage girl are going to shave their pink parts, take selfies, and tweet them to Aaron Sorkin. I don't want to know what happens after that. Rumor has it Sorkin is into candle wax, beef jerky, and mushrooms. Oh, and 13 year old girls of course. Dick. It Must Be A Christian Thing?I was mindlessly flipping through random blogs on Blogger today. I saw so many blogs with family photos in the header. Smiling young couples with infants and young kids. And an occasional dog, or in-law thrown in.
I skimmed some posts. What stood out was the mentions of church and God and whatever faith this family blog worshiped under. I saw all kinds of bible quotes. No Church of The Poisoned Mind, a.k.a., Scientology, by the way. Those folks are too busy getting "cleared," or killed in sweatboxs. Not good blog content that sane people would want to read. I am not criticizing this trend of family blogs, just reporting what I observed. Obviously, this is a spin-off of "scrap booking." That fad peaked 10 years ago. It seemed to a scrapbook was a photo album, with yarn and glitter glued on it. Anyway, blogging is a much easier, more sharable scrapbook. I would venture to say, the sharing aspect of the family blog is the most appealing. After all, people love to talk about their lives. If the life is going well, and the author loves the people in it. I didn't see any dysfunctional family blogs however. Those would be more readable for people I think. Nobody wants to hear about your happy family that often. A Christmas card, or death notice, or birth; are valid excuses to sling out a mass RSS feed to an announcement like that. But Billy's two front teeth fell out, is not an email I'm going to click open. However, if someone tweeted a video clip of his wife getting nailed by the lawn guy while he hid in the closet and taped it... I would naturally link and bookmark that family blog. Then I would Google earth that house, and deliver some flowers to the Mrs, if you catch my drift. I Am Shameless Beyond Repair
Not only did I walk behind her to snap her sagging, yet still attractive ass. That is not my opinion, based on some aesthetic construct It is based on pure animal magnetism that brought on an increase (a rush of blood) in James, Jr's turgidity. Catch my drift? There was some driftwood on Siesta Key Beach yesterday. Somehow a piece got into my suit while I was stalking this foreign MILF. Here is another pic... I always liked the "Alicia Silverstone" type. The perfectly cute, smiley, blonde girl next door, on the brink of womanly beauty at any moment. On day one of 1st grade, I found my crush for the next 12 years. Mimi Knight... Ah, I still can see her then, and when I saw her last 1/2 way through 11th grade. The only things that really changed where her height, tits, and teeth. She ruined me early for the mortal women who may have got my attention, had we not "made-out" behind the Hidden Valley development in Rocky River, Ohio. We were "going" together. This involved notes, friends asking friends about one another, and the grand prize; making out after school following a week of false starts. After 10 minutes of us silently blushing and avoiding eye contact, while our teeth knocked together during some shaky movements; it was all over. I didn't kiss another girl until 6th grade. Now I know this is normally when kids start playing sexy. I got lucky with Mimi back then. I mean here I am, 1st week, best looking girl by far, and we have kissed in the woods. The kiss of death for me was this: "The Inadvertent French Kiss" Mimi dumped me via a handed off note from her BFF, Jill Titmas (who years later would display her modest "tits" while skinny dipping drunk after a summer party)
In the note, Mimi expressed her disgust at my attempt to "French" her, without asking 1st. Now if I even knew that slipping my tiny blonde bombshell was in my thoughts, I of course would have pressed my luck. But I must have licked my lips while she was driving in for a peck. I didn't remember feeling a tongue then, and it hasn't come back to me in those 30+ years either. My suspicion is that she used this mouth raping I allegedly perpetrated, as a ruse to trade up to a more powerful 1st grader. I was a dopey clown. Mimi wanted a young leader. She decided this early. Very precocious gal. I wanted to see some girl that had her boobies naked. It was clear that I would not be student council Prez. So Mimi Knight, if you are reading this now, send me an email. I will meet you at the airport long term parking lot in the city you live. I will show you how I would've "Frenched" you if that was my intention. Be prepared to get recharged sexually if you are in a slump. I will lick every square inch of your body, 'til you whisper, "Viva la Francois." Except I Scottish.So I you I believe. So let's wear kilts, and so where it goes? Yesterday Was Dark, But I Can See NowI wasn't born blind. Ten years ago I stopped seeing things.
When goodness, luck, and beauty left my world, and I decided I didn't want to see beautify things, or have hopeful thoughts. So I stopped looking for them. Eventually, I devoloped "Happiness Blindness." I simply closed my eyes, and thought about instant gratification, and getting what I want, whenever, from whoever; at whatever cost. Cause I certaining had no intentions of paying the piper. In fact, I may have robbed and raped her for all I know The best thing about the past decade, is I somehow survived it. Oh yeah, I also missed 10 years of potential opperrtunity,beauty, accomplishment and tons of things that broght joy to me when I was different. Back when I was happy. I was 27 or 28 when the happiness and excitement left my life. I didn't stop and think, "How do I fix this?" I drifted and drugged, and invented a world in my head for me. I was alone and numb. I lived in a comfortable adult womb. I forgot I was alive at times. Nobody noticed, but how would I know? I really lived 10 years with my eyes closed to the things I used to derive joy, hope, and strength from. And the silent little crutches I convinced my mind to accept as a part of doing business in my head. If I had to be awake, I didn't want to feel the pain of my wasted life. I wanted to be high in a purgatory life of my design. I drove that life for 10 years. When the car finally died. I realized I hadn't moved an inch. Any traveling was in my imagination, that I rewired to ignore the world for the most part. There is something to be said for shutting things out and self-medicating for a day or two. Most people call that "letting loose" or "taking a me day.' I made this my life's work. Shutting out life while you are alive is not only counter-intuitive, but it is selfish, dangerous, and unhealthy. August 27 (yesterday) 2013 I opened my eyes, and closed all the doors to impulse, greed, deception, fear, and the want of stuff and the lust for naked flesh, and the women who offered it. So I needed to change something, many things, and re-invent a new life. Or, kill myself while living the miserable one I shared the last decade with. This blog is really a diary, and an outlet for me that is safe. If somebody read it for 96 seconds (the average time to read a post) and gets a rise or a laugh or idea from it, I would like that too. |